Barkley's last NBA game, which I attended.

I love professional basketball…love it. Throughout the decades that I’ve been watching there have been some incredibly talented players that made my heart race as I watched them do their thing. There has only been one player, however, whose off-court “talents” truly kept me following him — Charles Barkley.

Barkley, whose career in the NBA was phenomenal, played his last game ever on April 19, 2000. The ironic part of his final game was that it was the first NBA game I ever attended. Being an outcast in Kansas City, I’d been relegated to attending the occasional pre-season game that would roll through Kemper Arena but it was Barkley’s last game that became my first. Did he win? Nope. They lost to the hapless Vancouver Grizzlies. Did I care? Kinda. But mainly I was there to pay my respects to Sir Charles.

The thing I love the most about Charles is his “don’t give a damn” attitude when it came to speaking his mind. He was staunchly devoted to his teammates and would back them up a hundred percent. If he had something he needed or wanted to say, he said it outloud no matter the cost. When he wasn’t telling it like it was, the words that came out of Barkley’s mouth were flat out hilarious. God, when they made him an analyst on TNT was one of the happiest days of my life.

Some classic Sir Charles lines:

“The only thing Christian Laettner has in common with Larry Bird is they both pee standing up.”

“Hey Kevin, let me tell you somethin. There are subliminal messages, and there are real messages. Like, if I hit somebody in the head with a hammer, that’s a real message. When I offer you Altoids…”

“That’s impossible… that’s like Dick Cheney trying to find another hunting partner.”

“Somebody hits me, I’m going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn’t eaten in a while.”

“If I weren’t earning more than $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.”

“Professional athletes should not be role models. Hell, I know drug dealers who can dunk. Can drug dealers be role models too?”

“Just because I can dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.”

On throwing an elbow at an Angolan: “Well, he might have pulled a spear on me.”

On facing Cuba in the ‘92 Olympics: “What do I know about Cuba? The country is run by a scruffy-looking guy who smokes cigars — that’s all I know.”

“If you have a disagreement with somebody, you don’t have to apologize to them. I ain’t gonna apologize to that motherfucker I threw through the window in Orlando.”

His greeting to new Rocket Elmer Bennett: “Elmer? I ain’t never met a brother named Elmer. I can’t believe that. A brother named Elmer. I have been alive 33 years, and I ain’t never met a brother named Elmer. I’ve heard of Elmer Fudd, but that’s it. They named a fella Elmer.”

“That’s a lot of damn money. And a black man is making it. What a great country. Imagine if he could play.” — Barkley on Kevin Garnett’s $125 million deal

“I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.”

“You know it’s gone to hell when the best rapper out there is a white guy and the best golfer is a black guy.”

On his retirement: “Just what America needs–another unemployed black man.”

I could go on and on…but, in short, Barkley’s career has certainly entertained this team-less Kansas Citian. His entering into the NBA Hall of Fame on Friday is well deserved. Here’s to you, Sir Charles…keep riding Kenny “The Jet” Smith on TNT ‘cuz I’ll be watching.