Ahh, redheads.

Most everyone grows up being spoonfed some type of bias by their parents. My personal favorite — and the one that sticks with me to this day — is that redheads are the end-all, be-all of human existence. And who taught me this? Why, my mother of course…the original redhead as far as I’m concerned.

I don’t know what it is about them, exactly, that has always turned my head but it’s a Ken guarantee if a redhead strides by, I’m gonna watch her. For a period of about five years I dated nothing but redheads. Tall ones, short ones, you name it. Perhaps it’s the rareness that intrigues me. Freud, of course, would slap me with traces of the Oedipus complex minus the aggression towards my Dad. Maybe it’s because they’re more likely to have freckles, which I adore, or it might be their pale skin. I really don’t know.

Over the years I’ve enjoyed seeing red becoming a hair color of choice when it came to women dyeing their hair, although not every woman can carry it off nicely. The different hues that a redhead can have run the spectrum — consider the lushness of a Julianne Moore, the playful brightness of a Allison Hannigan, the sexiness of the overly dyed Stephanie Seymour, or the gentle auburn cuteness of a Lindsay Lohan…and that’s just four shades to start. There are many more flavors of red and pretty much every single one of them makes my tongue wag.

I’ve always considered the perfect redhead to have the coloring of my beloved Julianne Moore (you know, my future ex-wife). She’s absolutely radiant. She’s not tall and leggy by any means, she’s currently in her 40s, her skin is very pale, and she’s the mother of two children…yet if you put that woman in a green dress, I’m gonna go weak in the knees and will be unable to speak as long as she’s in my eyesight. I take that back, I might be able to mumble something like “daaaaaaaaaaamn.”

When my daughter Gwen was born, my father wrote my then-wife Jeni a little note. “Thank you,” he penned, “for bringing another redhead into the world.” I agree…job well done. Gwen’s hair over the years has become more of a strawberry blond but I hope, as she gets older, that it’ll return to more of a solid red. Only time will tell.

My own hair, according to my Mom, is “bronze” colored. My sister’s hair is a dark red, as is Mom’s. Any other questions why I’m biased towards redheads?