Ohmmmm....

Discipline — and I’m not talking about “bondage and” — has always had a love/hate relationship with me. The ability to stick to what is right is a trait that easily comes and goes with me depending on the subject matter. It’s been this way ever since I was a lil’ kid.

I have always been, and probably always will be, a creature of habit. I try to park in the exact same spot every day at work. I go to eat at the same places on specific days of the week…always at the same time. I go through a system I call “The Routine” when I get home that walks me through emptying my pockets and then changing into “chillin’ at home” clothes. Everything has to be done just so. Ahh, schedules. Schedules are a huge aspect of my life. I do it because it makes my life easier and more manageable. It takes a lot of discipline to stick to all of this. Pretty much anything I can work into a logical system (or at least one that makes sense to me) is easy to stick with once I get started.

Work-related matters have almost always been easy to stick to throughout my career. I arrive early, I do not miss deadlines, and I am usually the first person in the room for a meeting. If I fail at any one of those three, I feel like I’ve disrespected someone, somewhere. Again, discipline is the key factor and driving force that keeps me mentally abreast of what I need to be doing. Timesheet in on time? Welllll, that’s another matter all together where I should be taken out back and shot. Let’s not talk about timesheet timeliness.

Something that I’m absolutely horrible about when it comes to remaining disciplined is walking away from something that I enjoy when I should. It goes hand in hand with my obsessiveness towards specific things, gambling for instance. Scoot claims that I have a gambling problem but I know that’s not true. If I came home and had no furniture because I hawked it all to go to the casino, then yes…I have a gambling problem. I’ve always had a propensity to want to get back into the game after I’ve lost. I’ll adopt the “I can win it back!” mentality that casinos just loooooove to see in their clientele.

Another thing I have a problem walking away from? Arguing a point when someone is telling me I’m wrong when I know I’m right. I simply do not have the discipline to agree to disagree or anything along those lines. It’s awful. I just can’t stop. To quote my dear Mother, I’ll “beat a dead horse” about the subject matter. It’s true. No discipline whatsoever.

Last night during Octoberfe$t, I found myself in a situation where I’d sat down for less than fifteen minutes and turned $20 into $300. The rule I have during this month-long challenge is to leave if I (a) completely lose my initial $100 lay down or (b) win $200 for a total of three hundred in chips. I had been having my ass kicked around all night until I found that one particular table that was handing out the money left and right. Once I hit $300 in chips I had a decision to make: do I keep gambling and see if my winning streak continues or get the hell outta there with my winnings?

“Get me the hell out of here,” I told the dealer as I shoved my chips towards her. She colored me up with three beautiful black $100 chips and I bolted. Did that take discipline? You bet your ass. Did I want to leave there? Of course not. But that damn inner voice of mine kicked in and said “let’s go.” And I did. Hooray for discipline.