Twenty-six of the greatest lessons I was ever taught.

This is a chapter from The ABCs of Dan M. Wilson.

Beau Brummell, a 19th century arbiter of fashion in England, is credited with introducing and establishing as fashion the modern man’s suit worn with a tie. Growing up in a small town it was rare that anyone my age would encounter a man in a tie, let alone a man in a suit and tie. Not me. As you well know, Grandpa Dan was one of the best-dressed men around and I saw it on an almost daily basis.

Opening his closet was always a sight to behold. He had a multitude of suits of various colors and styles. His shirts were pressed and crisp. He had a seemingly unending collection of ties. His shoes were arranged just so, all with a high polish. He had cufflinks, tie tacks, and pocket squares. Dad was prepared for every occasion, be it casual or formal. I think the one item he didn’t own was a tuxedo.

As a child I was happiest in my Mork and Mindy sky blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans. In the summer it was a pair of shorts and a tank top so I could show off my muscles (yeah, right). The wintertime brought out the sweaters and corduroy pants. You couldn’t have paid me to sport a tie. I didn’t care much about what I wore, really.

The teenage years however brought about a change in my wardrobe as it does for most all of us. I looked around at what was in fashion at the time – ahh, the good old early ‘80s – and immediately knew I wasn’t a guy that could get away with sporting a Michael Jackson jacket and parachute pants (although I did own a pair at one time). For the longest time I stuck with jeans and t-shirts until I began watching the television show “Family Ties”.

Okay, to be the next Beau Brummell you’re going to need…

Michael J. Fox’s character in the sitcom Alex P. Keaton, for whom you were NOT named after contrary to rumor (you were named after Alexander the Great), was a conservative Republican who dressed in business attire. Here was a character near my age that dressed in a way that made what Grandpa Dan wore seem “cool.” I thought long and hard about changing my overall style and ultimately decided to go for it. I’ve not met the teenager yet that didn’t radically alter his or her appearance for the sake of trying to be deemed unique. I was no exception.

Thanks to a 40-hour a week job I worked throughout the summer before my sophomore year I was able to throw out my old wardrobe and start completely over with “nice clothes.” Before embarking on this new journey, however, I made an important trip to talk to Dad about this. Needless to say, he was very excited.

While I can’t narrow down this particular life lesson in a simple sentence, I do recall Dad’s opening line:

“Okay, to be the next Beau Brummell you’re going to need…”

It wasn’t until years later that I discovered whom this Brummell character was as I was too busy taking in all of the rapid-fire advice being tossed my way.

I could write several other books that go into more detail on this overall topic but I’ll just give you the basics of what all was taught to me over the years on the subject of dressing nicely.

On your wardrobe…

• A man should own at least three suits – one black, one navy blue, and one gray
• You only need to buy brown and black shoes
• Shirts and ties are where you can “play,” experimenting with styles and different colors but stick with the classics for your jackets, pants and shoes
• Have at least three white shirts and three blue shirts
• Always hang your pants with their respective sports coats
• You can tell if it is a good shirt if there are spaces for collar stays as well as a separate button holding together the sleeve near the middle of your forearm
• Own at least one black and one brown top coat

On the basics…

• Wear a brown belt with brown shoes, a black belt with black shoes – there are no exceptions
• Don’t mix stripes and patterns
• A pocket square should match your tie
• The tip of your tie should fall just onto the top of your belt, never above or below it
• Learn and commit to memory your actual shirt size (neck, arms, and chest) and buy fitted shirts rather than shirts marked S, M, L, XL, etc.
• Also learn what size suit you wear (40R, 42L, etc.)
• Top coats should be one size larger than your suit size

On caring for your clothes…

• Learn to properly shine shoes and polish them at least once a month
• Give a quick shine to your shoes before heading out the door in the morning
• Have your finer clothes dry cleaned
• Replace the shoestrings that originally come with new shoes with round, waxed shoestrings as they will last longer, look better, and remain tied longer
• Iron the collars out flat – never on the crease
• When storing seasonal clothing, cover them in plastic wrap for protection (simply draping a long sheet of plastic over them as they hang will suffice)

An important lesson that Dad also taught me was that a man should always dress for the job he wants, not the job he has. It’s truly amazing how much people notice it when someone is dressed nicely. You’ll be treated differently. I don’t have to remind you of the little glimpse into the world of dressing nicely that I gave to you in the realm of shoes before you began your freshman year of high school. I still stand by the fact that “women notice shoes,” as you quickly learned that initial week.

Deciding to spend the rest of my life dressing nicely was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It doesn’t have to be something that makes you stuffy or stodgy. You can truly have fun with it.

There’s also a certain amount of respect that you can command when nicely dressed that goes both ways. The well dressed man is given respect in certain occasions (job interviews, for example) and shows respect during others (funerals).

You’ve done well embracing this life lesson thus far as you’re easily one of the best dressed young men I’ve seen around.

Grandpa Dan made a deal to buy each of his sons their first real suit in preparation for their initial “big job interview.” I traded mine in on a nice jacket instead, which I still have, as the job I was going after did not require a suit. For you I offer the same deal – when you are ready to interview for your first job post college I will buy you a fine suit.

I’ll leave you with this last reminder on the subject of clothing, although I’ve already walked you through it before. Grandpa Dan taught me how to tie a tie when I was a little younger than you are now. I remember teaching you how to tie one just last summer. But, in case you ever need a reference chart to consult, here you go:

How to Tie a Tie (while looking into the mirror):