Title: Conjunction Junction
Music & Lyrics by: Bob Dorough
Performed by: Jack Sheldon
First aired: 1973
My rank: #2

I’m gonna say it – this song flat out rocks. It seriously does. Debuting over thirty-five years ago as of this writing (it first hit the airwaves in 1973), Bob Dorough’s timeless classic “Conjunction Junction” still grabs me from the opening notes and refuses to let go. Vocalized by Jack Sheldon, a well-respected trumpeter in the music industry, combined with backup vocals from Terri Morel, this introduction to conjunctions is probably the second most remembered Schoolhouse Rock short behind “I’m Just a Bill“.

We’re allowed into the small world of a train engineer (who oddly doesn’t have any eyes – as it turns out the ONLY thing in the entire cartoon that has its eyes open is the duck) whose spending a day at Conjunction Junction to teach us the benefits of using words like and, but and or. They’ll get you pretty far, you know.

One little line of lyrics that I’ve always appreciated in this hit contains a dose of good manners that is sneaked in during a barrage of conjunction examples: “You should always say ‘thank you’ or at least say ‘please.’” I’ve repeated this line around my children for years. Dorough was a genius to tuck that in there.

Talk about a tough decision. While this short almost always elicited the largest gasp of excitement whenever it would start up following the Schoolhouse Rocky introduction, there was one episode that edged it out for my top choice in the end. “Conjunction Junction” will forever be my second favorite Schoolhouse Rock. I could listen to it on loop all day long…and have in the past. I’d guess that this would my both my children’s top choice.

Favorite lines – The please/thank you line that I mentioned above; the visual pun with the shot of a car of ore coupled with “and then there’s or, O-R”.

The lyrics:

Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?
Hooking up words and phrases and clauses.
Conjunction Junction, how’s that function?
I got three favorite cars
That get most of my job done.
Conjunction Junction, what’s their function?
I got “and”, “but”, and “or”,
They’ll get you pretty far.

[spoken] “And”:
That’s an additive, like “this and that”.
“But”:
That’s sort of the opposite,
“Not this but that”.
And then there’s “or”:
O-R, when you have a choice like
“This or that”.
“And”, “but”, and “or”,
Get you pretty far.

[sung] Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?
Hooking up two boxcars and making ‘em run right.
Milk and honey, bread and butter, peas and rice.
Hey that’s nice!
Dirty but happy, digging and scratching,
Losing your shoe and a button or two.
He’s poor but honest, sad but true,
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?
Hooking up two cars to one
When you say something like this choice:
“Either now or later”
Or no choice:
“Neither now nor ever”
Hey that’s clever!
Eat this or that, grow thin or fat,
Never mind, I wouldn’t do that,
I’m fat enough now!

Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?
Hooking up phrases and clauses that balance, like:
Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
He cut loose the sandbags,
But the balloon wouldn’t go any higher.
Let’s go up to the mountains,
Or down to the seas.
You should always say “thank you”,
Or at least say “please”.

Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?
Hooking up words and phrases and clauses
In complex sentences like:
[spoken] In the mornings, when I’m usually wide awake, I love to take a walk through the gardens and down by the lake, where I often see a duck and a drake, and I wonder, as I walk by, just what they’d say if they could speak, although I know that’s an absurd thought.

Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?
Hooking up cars and making ‘em function.
Conjunction Junction, how’s that function?
I like tying up words and phrases and clauses.
Conjunction Junction, watch that function.
I’m going to get you there if you’re very careful.
Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?
I’m going to get you there if you’re very careful.
Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?
I’m going to get you there if you’re very careful.