Title: I’m Just a Bill
Music & Lyrics by: Dave Frishberg
Performed by: Jack Sheldon
First aired: 1975
My rank: #7

Easily the most recognizable character in the Schoolhouse Rock universe, “that sad little scrap of paper” Bill did the unthinkable by teaching an entire generation of children the overly complicated rigamarole involved in creating a law. Again, like with the rest of the shorts, all of this was accomplished in three minutes time.

Putting down his trumpet to tend to the voice our very own Bill, virtuoso Jack Sheldon ended up amazingly vocalizing the seemingly impossible tale of a single idea going all the way to Capitol Hill to become a law. Sheldon manages to convey the general frustration involved in his tone as he both sang and talked his way through the entire process compliments of the ingenious lyrics written by Dave Frishberg. I can only imagine how daunting that assignment must have been for Frishberg but the world cannot deny that he should get an A+ for this very popular educational tool.

While the music in the piece plays second fiddle to the story it nonetheless provides the perfect playground for Sheldon to work his magic. Also, no one can deny the empirical cuteness of the animation. Phil Kimmelman and Associates did an absolutely incredible job bringing to life this very advanced topic and illustrating it in a way that even a small child like myself back in the mid ’70s could readily follow. This is, in my opinion, the most intelligent – and most memorable – short in the entire series.

Based upon the criteria I judged these shorts on to determine my top ten favorites, it comes in at number seven.

The lyrics:

Boy: Woof! You sure gotta climb a lot of steps to get to this Capitol Building here in Washington. But I wonder who that sad little scrap of paper is?

I’m just a bill.
Yes, I’m only a bill.
And I’m sitting here on Capitol Hill.
Well, it’s a long, long journey
To the capital city.
It’s a long, long wait
While I’m sitting in committee,
But I know I’ll be a law someday
At least I hope and pray that I will,
But today I am still just a bill.

Boy: Gee, Bill, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage.

Bill: Well I got this far. When I started, I wasn’t even a bill, I was just an idea. Some folks back home decided they wanted a law passed, so they called their local Congressman and he said, “You’re right, there oughta be a law.” Then he sat down and wrote me out and introduced me to Congress. And I became a bill, and I’ll remain a bill until they decide to make me a law.

I’m just a bill
Yes I’m only a bill,
And I got as far as Capitol Hill.
Well, now I’m stuck in committee
And I’ll sit here and wait
While a few key Congressmen discuss and debate
Whether they should let me be a law.
How I hope and pray that they will,
But today I am still just a bill.

Boy: Listen to those congressmen arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about you?

Bill: Yeah, I’m one of the lucky ones. Most bills never even get this far. I hope they decide to report on me favourably, otherwise I may die.

Boy: Die?

Bill: Yeah, die in committee. Oooh, but it looks like I’m gonna live! Now I go to the House of Representatives, and they vote on me.

Boy: If they vote yes, what happens?

Bill: Then I go to the Senate and the whole thing starts all over again.

Boy: Oh no!

Bill: Oh yes!

I’m just a bill
Yes, I’m only a bill
And if they vote for me on Capitol Hill
Well, then I’m off to the White House
Where I’ll wait in a line
With a lot of other bills
For the president to sign
And if he signs me, then I’ll be a law.
How I hope and pray that he will,
But today I am still just a bill.

Boy: You mean even if the whole Congress says you should be a law, the president can still say no?

Bill: Yes, that’s called a veto. If the President vetoes me, I have to go back to Congress and they vote on me again, and by that time you’re so old…

Boy: By that time it’s very unlikely that you’ll become a law. It’s not easy to become a law, is it?

Bill: No!

But how I hope and I pray that I will,
But today I am still just a bill.

Congressman: He signed ya, Bill! Now you’re a law!

Bill: Oh yes!