Twenty-six of the greatest lessons I was ever taught.

This is a chapter from The ABCs of Dan M. Wilson.

You won’t like this chapter as it’s been a sore subject with us in the past. Yet, it was a powerful life lesson handed down to me by my father.

“You are a Wilson, act like one. The Wilson name means something very important to me, your mother, and to everyone in our family. Don’t tarnish it.”

You were born a Wilson. You are a Wilson. You, more than any other of the grandchildren in our family, embody the best traits that Grandpa Dan set out to teach and pass onto his own children. You are well-mannered, thoughtful, considerate, compassionate, polite, and a slew of the other best traits that our family name has come to represent through our collective reputation.

In Kansas City at VML where I work, at DST where LarryMatt works, and in Texas at Claunch Miller where Doug works, hearing that a project is in the hands of a Wilson brings comfort to people. And why? Because our reputation preceeds us. We are all extremely proud of our family name. It’s not just six letters and a name we have to sign on our checks. It’s a way of life. It’s a badge of honor. It’s who we are.

I did a number of things in my life that upset my father…but none moreso than when I agreed to let the courts change your last name. To say that he was devastated is an understatement.

After he passed away, Teresa and I discovered Grandpa Dan’s journals. In them he had written down a brief synopsis of what had occurred each day. Some days were merely a few sentence fragments. Others went on for paragraphs. Two occurrences, however, had really upset him…and I had been at the root of both. It was when I allowed you to change your name and when Gwen changed her last name.

A woman’s last name can change, legally, due to marriage. A man’s last name, however, should never change.

When you approached me at the age of eight all distraught because you didn’t understand why your last name wasn’t the same as your Mom’s, Tim’s, or your pet’s (yes, your pet’s), I did my best to explain it. Unable to rationalize the importance of it all, I took a gamble and placed the decision squarely in your hands.

You are a Wilson, act like one. The Wilson name means something very important to me, your mother, and to everyone in our family. Don’t tarnish it.

Do you remember that day? Absolutely terrified, I rented a paddle boat at Shawnee Mission Park and we went out on the water to discuss it. Knowing that if that boat tipped over, I would die…as an eight year old was not going to be able to get me back to shore. I explained to you how much it meant to me that you keep our family’s last name but that I give you a chance to do what was right, placing the decision entirely in your hands.

You changed your name.

I was deeply upset.

Grandpa Dan was devastated.

He and I both cried.

One year later, while we were at World’s of Fun together and walking up the hill by the Stax of Wax Theatre (I remember is very vividly), you told me that you wanted to change your name back to Wilson. I was ecstatic. Knowing that you had changed it less than a year ago in the courts I knew that it would be a pain to revisit the issue as your Mom and I had exchanged words on the subject. So I made yet another mistake and told you that we should wait until the summer before you began high school to change it back.

If I had it all to do over again, I would have fought to change your last name back to Wilson that very afternoon.

I explained to Grandpa Dan and Grandma Pat the situation and we all agreed to keep it quiet until the summer before you began your freshman year. After you graduated 8th grade, Grandpa Dan called me up and asked me when we were going to pursue the name change as he had already spoken with an attorney friend of his to see what all it entailed. I said that I was going to wait until you approached me about it before moving on it as I wanted to make sure you were ready.

As the summer wound down and you hadn’t mentioned it, I brought it up to you. I’m sure you remember that evening. I do, unfortunately, as it was the night that I heard you utter what I consider to be the saddest line I’ve ever heard you say:

“I’m sorry, but I just don’t see what the big deal is about a family name.”

That line proved that I had failed tremendously at explaining and conveying to you how important and how much pride can be derived from one’s family name. Upon hearing the news, Grandpa Dan wrote how much it saddened him in his journal and he once again broke down in tears.

LarryMatt has no sons.

Doug has two sons whose last names are Wilson, both of whom fathered daughters and have no further plans for additional children.

Teresa, due to marriage, does not have children whose last name is Wilson.
You, Alex, are our last chance to carry on the Wilson name…otherwise I have to try to have another son to carry it on. And while I know that there is a “family curse” that says that I will have another child at the age of 39, I could never have another son that knew Grandpa Dan and possessed the traits that only he could directly teach.

You are it. You are the last Wilson boy. Please reconsider. It would mean the world to me, our family, and most importantly, to the memory of Grandpa Dan.