Twenty-six of the greatest lessons I was ever taught.

This is a chapter from The ABCs of Dan M. Wilson.

While I have already explained to you about manners in the chapter entitled “M,” there is enough material for this particular aspect of it to devote another chapter. Allow me to expound on the importance of respecting one’s elders as there is a great deal to be learned from them.

Wisdom, as it is claimed, comes with age. While this may or may not be the case, it’s always safer to error on the positive side than the negative. It is also safe to assume that someone who is a decade older than you has already been through many of the same situations you are currently encountering, as difficult as that may seem to fathom.

“Yes, what?”
“Yes, sir.”

It is due to this difference in age that you should view anyone older than you as a potential source of beneficial knowledge. And while they still need to earn your respect outright, begin by showing them the proper respect until they otherwise prove that they do not deserve it.

I remember a time during my youth that I called to Dad by saying “Hey, man!” He stopped me and explained to me that he was not to be addressed as “man,” that he was my father and would be addressed as “Dad” or “Sir.”

When he asked me if I understood, the following exchange took place:

Grandpa Dan: “Do you understand?”
Me: “Yes.”
Grandpa Dan: “Yes, what?”
Me: “Yes, sir.”

I learned to answer “yes, sir” and “no, sir” as well as “yes, ma’am” and “no, ma’am” when addressing men and women, respectively.

Over the years the teaching of this practice has seemed to have all but disappeared. Fortunately there are still a large number of us that continue to use these titles when addressing our elders.

Grandpa Dan and Grandma Pat taught me early on that there were authority figures that I should always address with respect – teachers, police officers, any form of doctor, and other people’s parents. These people were to be addressed by their title and surname by default. So teachers were always Mr. or Mrs. (surname). Police officers were always Officer (surname). Any doctor was always Dr. (surname). And no matter how well I knew them, other people’s parents were always Mr. or Mrs. (surname). I struggled with that last one quite often as my best friends’ parents would ask me to call them by their first names…which took me years to adjust to after having been taught the proper usage of titles. Still, when any of them asked me a yes or no question, my retort was always ended with a “sir” or a “ma’am” depending on their gender.

Remember to address your boss as Mr. or Mrs. unless they instruct you otherwise. Also answer them with “sir” or “ma’am” unless otherwise instructed as well.

As archaic as all of this may sound, I feel very strongly about this subject as did your grandfather. These people have “put in the time” and earned the right to be addressed with the proper title. It’s just common courtesy…and the polite thing to do.